Refugees of War and Contradicting Cultures

      My parents are refugees of the Vietnam War who immigrated along with many other Hmong families into the United States between the 1970's to the early 1990's. And being born under such circumstances, the grand narrative towards my outlook form then to now has been built on that foundation. Coming into the United States, my parents were nervous and rather afraid of their surroundings. The integration from the lives on the mountain hills of Laos into a totally different, unknown world filled with technology shocked my parents. My culture in general, is family-oriented. In the villages back in Laos, it is possible to deduce that almost every family knew one another, their family background, and even people who lives in nearby villages. However, here in the U.S. the community is full of strangers. And because of so, you had to interact with strangers everyday. Which is problematic for my culture, because we are only used to talking to people we'd know. So integrating this into the educational system, I was that stereotypical quiet and shy student in class.
      Another part of my culture is the stratification of status and the continuous stress implemented on it. Whether it be from my parents, my relatives, or even a complete stranger who is also Hmong, the typical discussion I would have with them would always be about status, doing well school, go to college, get well-known, and bring fame to my family's name. Because in my culture, the status of the family's name meant a lot. It would determine if your girlfriend's parents would accept you as a son-in-law. It would also lead to how the community perceive you as a person just by who your parents are. These conditions are factors that lead to how my siblings and my future were planned out. We were pressured to excel in school, go to college, graduate, and bring in earnings to the family. We were to live by my families expectation so that we would bring only honor to the family name. If some of our actions were negative, even if its my own grandparents, they would leak it out to the public. The most recent conversation I had with my grandmother was that she told me to do well in college and graduate on time then continue on into the workforce.
     As of today, I still follow partial of the grand narrative set by my family. I still value family as the what comes first, I do challenge myself in college, however, much of stressed expectations, I've gotten rid of. I was more influenced by the western culture then my own. I was taught to think for myself, that my exposure to the community was about the individual. I've even strayed from the path my mother set for me. She wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer (which I think she was in it for the money). I've also gave less stress to the family name, I would account my actions on my own. Though I've been more influenced by my culture, I still regret now to learn my own. The state of my culture is on the verge of dying. Only a handful of the Hmong community still know the traditions, and what it meant to be Hmong.