It wasn't all glitters

I was born in 1992, approximately 12 years from the war of liberation against colonial rule in my country. As a result, the grand narrative of that war became a significant director in my life as I grew up, till this day. I grew up in an environment in which the events of and leading to the war were always narrated to me by my parents, school teachers and all other elderly people I knew, who had experienced it. The stories I was told were somewhat similar, gruesome, but similar. Many people would think that they would have me bitter because of all the injustice they portrayed but the way they were narrated to me had a great impact in the person I am today. I have friends who heard this story also from the people they knew but the different perspectives from which they were narrated to us made us grow up with a different perspective on the world at large. I guess this goes to show that history is not just facts but rather a combination of other things such as subject position, partial truths and the methodology used to deliver it.

One thing common about what me and my peers were taught was that everything that happened leading to the war was a direct consequence of black peoples lack of knowledge, education 'white education'. We were taught that the knowledge of our ancestors was not going to be enough to sustain us in the future and so we had to go to school and become 'doctors', mainly because at the time that was considered the most prestigious job to have. So for most of my life this is what I worked towards, being a doctor. I put down everything, even knowing about my own culture because for some reason I felt it symbolized inferiority.

So now I am more open minded because of media and leaving here in America, not pursuing the medicine thing either. What I find sad is that the people here have their own culture and as much as I try to associate myself with mine its always really hard to go back to a culture a spent most of my life avoiding, trying to adopt a western culture which in no respect belongs to me.